Reunited...in Paris! Read online

  Shaking his head, Luc explained, ‘She’d been the picture of health, if her family doctor’s notes are anything to go by. It’s a mystery. Letitia is fifteen, far too young to be dealing with something like this. Would you read through her notes?’ he asked Ben.

  ‘You’ll have to interpret.’ The girl obviously didn’t understand English or he doubted Luc would be discussing her case quite so openly. As he listened to details and test results Tori moved closer to the bed.

  ‘Can I sit down?’ she asked Letitia in French.

  At least, that was what Ben thought she’d said, because when Letitia nodded, saying, ‘Oui,’ Tori sat on the edge of the bed.

  Tori talked slowly to the girl, trying to make herself understood. They both laughed over something she’d said. Letitia seemed taken with Tori, talking rapidly, only to stop when Tori held up a hand and grinned at her.

  Letitia started again, slower this time, and Tori seemed to be getting the gist of what she was saying, occasionally asking for something to be repeated.

  Tori’s face had lit up with pleasure. From talking in another language? Or was it Letitia herself that had her reacting like that? Then Tori glanced across the next bed, where a much younger girl lay sleeping. Her eyes widened and that look of love included that child.

  Children. That’s what flicked the switch to glowing in Tori’s eyes. Children. Did Tori remember how they’d talked about having a family once they’d finally established their careers? She’d have been a fantastic mother. So sad that Tori hadn’t remarried and had a family with someone else. But he couldn’t find it within himself to deny he’d have been envious if she had.

  Ben shoved that aside, concentrated on what Luc was saying about Letitia’s heart attack. Nothing stood out, apart from the fact she’d gone into arrest while participating in a cycle race. Most bewildering, and downright frightening for the patient and her family. ‘No family history of cardiac problems, then?’

  Luc shook his head. ‘Not that anyone’s saying.’ Out of earshot of Letitia, he added, ‘The mother is a little circumspect about that, which has me wondering if there’s a paternity issue. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m ever going to get any further with that line of enquiry.’

  Ben nodded. ‘It’s tricky.’

  ‘Very.’

  When they were finally finished on the ward Luc took them down to his office for a much-needed coffee. While he was arranging their order with his secretary, Tori turned to Ben. ‘Medicine’s the same in every country, every language, isn’t it? Those children are so special, fighting hard to overcome their illnesses.’

  His mouth got away with him. ‘When we were being serious we talked of having two.’ Not six.

  The colour drained from Tori’s face so fast he thought she was about to collapse. Reaching for her, Ben held her arms and gazed into her distressed face. ‘Tori, I’m sorry. There’s a little gremlin in my head this morning, making mischief.’

  ‘P-put it down, then, w-will you?’ she stammered, and pulled away.

  ‘I’ll try but I also think it best if we’re being completely honest with each other and that means sometimes talking about taboo subjects.’

  ‘Then I’m going to avoid all conversation with you.’

  He quirked one eyebrow at her. ‘You can do that?’ It wouldn’t do them any good at all, only bring back the tension between them.

  Her shoulders lifted, fell. ‘It’s that or I avoid you completely, not a very grown-up way to behave, I’d have thought. But possibly necessary.’

  Unfortunately he really did want to have some time with her in the hope he could put his failed marriage and his ex-wife behind him. Who knew? If he did it right he might even be able to find a new life with another woman. His gut clenched. No? Okay, maybe not.

  CHAPTER TEN

  TORI LEANED CLOSE to Ben as the curtain fell for the last time. ‘I want to see this show every night I’m here.’

  ‘It’s great, isn’t it?’

  ‘Amazing, but what have I missed? It was impossible to take it all in.’ The colours, music, the beautiful dancing girls and the incredible acts of strength shown by the men—all mesmerising. The Moulin Rouge had lived up to its reputation and then some.

  ‘Let’s go,’ Ben said.

  ‘What’s the hurry?’ This had been another one of the most amazing nights of her life. A superb dinner and then the show. She so wasn’t ready to call it quits and head back to the hotel and that big lonely bed.

  ‘Taxis will be at a premium. There are hundreds of people needing to get back to their hotels.’ He sounded so reasonable. Or was that bored?

  ‘Let’s find a bar. No, a nightclub’s a better idea. The night’s still young.’ She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been up at one-thirty in the morning for pleasure. Pathetic, really. ‘Coming?’

  Ben stood up slowly. Reluctantly? ‘Sure.’

  Tori wanted to shake him. ‘Sound a little more enthused, will you?’

  ‘Sure.’ He managed a smile that sent heat fizzing along her veins. That heat never faded, always reminding her how good they’d been together. How good they could be again.

  Tori began pushing her way through the crowd, too impatient to be polite and stand back for everyone else to go first. She wanted to get out of there and head for a club and fun with Ben.

  The nightclubs were jam-packed with people spilling out onto the streets, but that didn’t deter Tori. At the third one she grabbed Ben’s hand and hauled him inside to the bar. With drinks in hand they squeezed into a corner and people-watched. Loud music had her blood pumping and her toes tapping and before she’d had two mouthfuls of her sparkling water she was up and dragging Ben onto the dance floor.

  Not once did Ben pull back or refuse to go with her as they danced or drank at her whim. He bought her more water and himself wine, he talked, and when she wanted to he stood on the dance floor, gyrating his hips and smiling as she leapt and twirled and shimmied.

  ‘Not that I call this dancing,’ Tori gasped once. ‘More like aerobics in a dog kennel.’ She was squashed up against Ben, breast to chest, hips to hips, her body moving against his in time to the music.

  Ben smiled in an enigmatic way and continued moving with her. His arms were on her waist, his fingers splayed so that she felt each and every one of them. Like he used to do.

  I wish I knew what he’s thinking. It felt like he cared for her if he was reverting to his old, loving ways. And on the night of her life it was getting to be romantic.

  * * *

  Nearly two hours later they arrived back at their hotel suite. Soft light from the lamps glowed in the otherwise darkened room. Obviously the maid had been to turn down their beds.

  Bed. Tori smiled as she finally got rid of her shoes. She wasn’t tired. She should be, but she couldn’t find a tired cell in her body. Not a one. Spinning around on her aching toes, she reached for Ben, caught his tie and tugged him close. Very close. Her lips brushed across his. It wasn’t enough. She pressed her mouth against his, felt his heat.

  Then he pulled away.

  ‘Tori, are you sure you know what you’re doing?’

  Yes. She was seizing the moment. She wasn’t thinking because thinking clogged the brain. She had wanted Ben for days now and no matter what the consequences this was her moment. She already knew her heart was screwed so she had nothing else to lose and everything to gain by trying to find her way back to them. Who knew? Ben might be waiting for the nod from her. ‘Yes, Ben, I do.’

  Ben held her gaze for a long, tense moment. A moment when the air became charged with anticipation and need and heat. Then he lifted her into his arms and strode through to her room.

  As he laid her on the bed she caught his tie again and tugged him down on top of her. She couldn’t wait to feel his weight over her body,
to have his hard muscles against her softer ones, his length inside her.

  When Ben kissed her he wasn’t gentle. Instead, his mouth claimed her lips, his tongue thrust into her mouth to dance with hers. Oh, the taste of him. Her Benji. His hands cupped her face, holding her head still, like he’d always done. His elbows kept his weight off her, weight she craved so she knocked his arms sideways to bring him tumbling onto her body. That’s when she felt right. Benji’s body covering her, his scent, his heat—it drove her crazy with need.

  His kiss was full of urgency. Every thrust of Ben’s tongue had Tori crying out with need. Her fingers slid down his back, around his waist, between their pulsing bodies and down over the hard set of his manhood. She was melting. Wet and ready. ‘Benji, now. Don’t wait. I want you.’ How had she gone without him for so long?

  Then he left her, his mouth withdrawing, his hands pulling away, the weight lifting from her. ‘Benji,’ she cried.

  ‘Ben. Call me Ben,’ he growled.

  Shock mixed with understanding stilled her briefly. So this wasn’t about who they were but who they’d become. A chill touched her hot skin then disappeared. Okay, so that was a warning not to expect anything from this, but her body was still waiting feverishly for him. ‘Ben, don’t keep me waiting.’

  His shirt flew across the room. His trousers followed. Then he was back, reclaiming her mouth, his body pressing hers into the mattress. His erection was heavy evidence of how much he wanted this, if nothing else.

  Then she was being lifted and the zip at the back of her dress was being tugged down. She stood to shuck out of the silk and stood before him in her lacy black bra and thong, and suspenders with black stockings. She’d gone all out, hoping when she shouldn’t have that they’d end up here sometime tonight. It had been a long time since she’d worn lingerie as exquisite as this. Seven years, in fact.

  ‘Tori, oh...’ Ben’s hands were gentle yet demanding as they touched her breasts, her stomach, thighs with a familiar caress that brought back happy memories of stolen moments between shifts, of making out in their massive super-king-sized bed. ‘You’re so beautiful.’ His tongue was raspy on her skin, heightening the already tight, ready-to-spring-apart feelings dominating her mind and soul. ‘I remember this. I’ve never forgotten.’

  Now she was confused. Had he insisted on ‘Ben’ and not ‘Benji’ to keep in control? Heat shot through her from that tongue, those fingers stroking her in places that had forgotten what making love was all about, places that remembered instantly and came alive too fast. Thinking just became impossible. ‘I have to have you. Now, Ben.’

  Ben’s growl was primal as he slipped on a condom, then pulled her close, skin to skin for the length of their bodies. His hands were on her waist when she lifted her legs up and around his body. Guiding him inside her, she gasped at the feel of his shaft touching her moist core. Lowering farther, she took him in, inch by hot inch until she had him all.

  ‘Hell, Tori, you’re killing me.’ He lifted her so he was free, then drove back in, hard and fast, again and again.

  And far too quickly Tori exploded, shattering into a million pieces as he reclaimed her. How could she have gone so long without this? Without Benji in her life? In her body?

  Tori knew the exact moment Ben left her bed. He was stealthy in his actions, slowly rolling over and sitting up, pausing, then standing and crossing the room. She didn’t open her eyes, didn’t want to see him leaving her. Refused to beg him to return to bed and hold her.

  He’d turn her down anyway. It had been when they had made love the second time, lying across the bed and taking longer to explore each other’s bodies, that she’d realised that while Ben’s lovemaking was intense he wasn’t totally with her, not in sync with her thoughts and emotions. Not like Benji used to make love to her.

  That’s when she understood she’d lost him, if she’d ever had him, and that she’d been wishing for a rainbow these past days. So she’d held on and tried to stamp every touch and kiss and caress firmly onto her brain to take out later and cherish. It had been hard but she’d refused to let her disappointment turn to hurt and then to anger. Instead, she’d lapped up the loving and then lain curled up against him for the last hour of the night.

  The bathroom door clicked firmly shut and then the shower ran for a long time. Washing her off his skin?

  Pain hit her in the chest, nearly stalling her heart. Rolling onto her back Tori stared at the ceiling, her fists pushing into her thighs as she fought the longing for Ben, the need to climb into the shower with him, to hold him—for ever. But she had her pride. It was stretched very thin, but it was there.

  She did not want to see his rejection in those sombre eyes. She’d break down in front of him if she did. That would have to wait until she was alone.

  Ben was going. She knew that with absolute certainty. The pain gnawing at her muscles, her stomach and her heart told her that. She’d finally had the guts to tell him about their baby and in doing so she’d lost him. If she’d ever had him. She’d probably been fooling herself to even think there had been a remote possibility of them getting back together. He’d been distant since Nice. Sure, he’d been friendly and prepared to have fun doing things around Paris, but she’d felt his distance. Last night had been special, and she’d worked hard to ignore what had been going on with Ben, to the point she’d fooled herself.

  And now she had to face the glaring truth. Getting back with Benji was never going to happen.

  The bathroom door opened.

  She rolled onto her side, facing away from the door. She couldn’t breathe and it seemed an age before she heard Ben again. She thought he’d come into her room but she couldn’t be certain. Everything went absolutely quiet for a long time then she heard soft footsteps on the carpet and it sounded as though something had been placed on the bedside table on the other side of the bed.

  A whisper she couldn’t decipher.

  Footsteps going away, leaving her.

  The entrance door opening, clicking shut.

  The absolute silence of an empty apartment. Empty except for her. A sound she was familiar with. The pain and loneliness she’d known a long time back.

  Hot, scalding tears covered her face, drenched the pillow.

  Her body began to shake.

  A scream tore up her throat. She clamped her mouth shut, swallowed hard. She would not let it out.

  Tori cried and cried and cried until there was nothing left inside her. Then, exhausted, she fell into a restless sleep.

  When she woke again it was after midday. Why hadn’t the cleaning staff woken her when they’d come in? Who cared? She certainly didn’t.

  Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, she turned and saw a folded sheet of the thick hotel paper on her bedside table.

  Her fingers shook as she picked it up. ‘What have you got to say to me, Ben? Thanks, have a great day? Sorry, but we shouldn’t have? No, not that, please.’

  It would be easier to ignore the note, leave it and take a long, hot shower, before deciding on her next move.

  But it would eat at her, and there’d be no peace until she’d read Ben’s last message.

  Straightening her back, she snapped open the page and read with a thudding heart.

  Dear Tori

  I’m heading back to London on an early flight. I didn’t want to wake you, considering the little sleep you’ve had. You need your energy for sightseeing.

  ‘Yeah, right. Like I want to do that now.’

  Tori, I’m glad I had this time with you. All of it, including last night. But it is time to go. I’ve learned that we weren’t meant to get back together. Even if we wanted to give it another go I can’t give up my career when I have yet to prove myself, and I’d never ask you to leave your clinic.

  Take care, sweetheart. You’ve done so well and I’m su
re I’ll be reading more about the Heart Lady.

  Hugs, Ben.

  ‘Thanks for nothing, Ben, Benji, or whoever the hell you are.’

  The pain had gone. She felt numb. She could not feel her heart as it splintered into a thousand pieces. She would not laugh at herself for having been foolish enough to think she and Ben might be able to overcome the past.

  Screwing up the page, she threw it at the bin and shuffled into the bathroom and stood under the shower for so long her skin resembled a prune when she turned off the water.

  Applying her make-up wasn’t easy with her face blotchy and swollen but she persevered and eventually looked half-decent. After drinking the strong coffee she’d ordered from room service she headed out, surprised at the ‘Don’t Disturb’ sign hanging on the outside of the door.

  ‘Caring to the last.’

  Slipping into the crowds filling Paris, Tori knew that sitting in her hotel suite, feeling sorry for herself, for the next three days was not an option.

  This was her dream city and she would see all she could cram in before getting on the big tin bird and flying home. Back to reality.

  * * *

  Ben almost literally felt his heart crack as he boarded his flight at Charles de Gaulle Airport. No matter he’d known he’d be leaving Tori to return to his life in London, he still wasn’t prepared. It wasn’t as though he felt free again. Nowhere near free. Hopefully that’d come as he settled back into the demands of the clinic.

  On board he was deaf to the announcements from the flight crew, blind to the other people around him, only vaguely aware of the plane hurtling along the runway and lifting into the turbulent summer air.

  Staring out the window, he saw nothing as the plane flew across the Channel. Nothing except the running film in his brain.

  Tori laughing. Tori under him, her face filled with need and ecstasy. Tori. The guilt turning her eyes dark and her mouth tight as she talked about the baby.

  She should’ve told him at the time she’d miscarried. No matter that he hadn’t been spilling his guts about what had been going on in his life. That baby had been theirs, not hers. A baby was life-changing. Losing it had made an impact on Tori. That was apparent in her voice, in her eyes, with the gentle touching of the gold bracelet she’d had made in remembrance of their child.