Reclaiming Her Army Doc Husband Read online

  ‘How did you cope?’

  I became someone else.

  ‘My friends, or those I’d believed were friends, added to the misery. We were all together that night.’ He explained what had happened. ‘I didn’t learn how they’d driven my car to the charity room until one of the guys admitted it all eight months later. I was embarrassed, then angry. My girlfriend had put a date drug in my beer. I’d always felt ashamed that I hadn’t known what had gone on, and the truth actually increased my shame. I was used.’

  Placing her glass back on the table without taking a sip, she again locked her gaze with his. ‘That wasn’t your fault.’

  ‘True.’ He shrugged. ‘But how gullible was I to accept a beer that had been drugged?’

  ‘No one knows they’ve been given date drugs until it’s too late.’

  ‘The whole incident taught me to be wary of who I chose for friends.’

  ‘Why are you only telling me this now when it’s obvious it’s made you who you are?’

  There was no holding her back on the tricky questions any more. It seemed the time he’d been away had made her tougher. Which he couldn’t fault. At least that had kept her safe from making mistakes. ‘It was a horrible time for me and my family, and when I fell in love with you I didn’t want to bring it into our lives. It changed me so much. I became wary of trusting people and yet you I totally trusted instantly. It was something I didn’t want to spoil. I had no issues with you believing me. It was more that I wanted to be accepted for who I was without all the bull dust attached.’

  ‘So you’ve never told anyone since it happened?’ The hurt tightened her face, darkened her eyes. She didn’t accept that he hadn’t told her.

  Now he was about to make it worse, because he wouldn’t lie to Vicki. Not even if it meant she’d hate him. ‘Nathan has known for most of our friendship.’

  ‘I see.’

  No, she didn’t. But he wasn’t going to grovel. He and Nathan had met when he’d still been raw from what his so-called friends had done and he’d wanted to test him. Quite the reverse to his decision not to tell Vicki. He should’ve done it the other way round, but then hindsight was all very well.

  ‘Has this got anything to do with joining the army?’

  His sigh was low and sad. ‘Mum died before I was proved innocent. I always wondered if the stress killed her. In those desperate hours after her heart attack she apologised for not believing in me and said she was proud of me for being so strong.’

  He swallowed as a picture filled his mind of his mother’s drawn, white face as she’d lain there, crying and apologising.

  ‘I was seventeen, and my mother was dying before my eyes. I couldn’t face that so I promised to make her more proud of me.’ A chill settled over him. ‘I was trying to keep her alive by giving her something to hold out for. Granddad had been awarded a military medal for his part in active service and she was always going on about him so it seemed the way to go.’

  ‘Why couldn’t you have told me that?’ Bleak eyes fixed on him. ‘I didn’t come into the picture at all, did I? How long was I supposed to sit back and wait until you were ready to include me in all aspects of your life?’ Her questions were stabs at his heart.

  ‘I got into the habit of not divulging things about myself, not wanting to bring my youth into my adulthood.’ He should’ve known not to do that after the way he’d been treated over the theft. ‘I’m so sorry, Vicki.’

  She went on in a softer voice. ‘To be fair, I did wait quietly in the wings. So I can’t get angry at you for that. But I woke up after the miscarriage. I needed you then. More than I’ve ever needed anyone. That was our baby I lost and you weren’t available. I know other women have been through a miscarriage on their own; I never expected it to be me. That was when I understood I do not want a marriage where we’re not together most of the time. I grew up having family around me. I can’t live without that. I’m sorry too.’

  ‘It won’t happen again, I promise. You’ll always have me with you. I am not going anywhere without you again.’

  ‘So you say, but you’re still making decisions without talking through them with me. I’d thought we’d work this out. I was not expecting more shocks, Cole. I can’t handle it. I need time to think it through. You may as well return to Sydney and your interview early.’ She stood up and looked at him, sorrow written all over her face. ‘I wish this had worked out how we’d both hoped.’

  ‘What do you mean? Are you saying we’re over? Our marriage really is finished?’ He could hardly utter the words the pain was so horrendous. ‘Vicki. Don’t do this,’ he gasped.

  Tears streaked over her cheeks. His beautiful Vicki was hurting as much as him. He stepped forward to take her in his arms, only to be stopped immediately.

  ‘No.’ Her breast lifted on a deep breath. ‘You need to stop proving to everyone else how strong you are and get on with living a life that’s true to you.’

  She was right. He had been hiding from so much.

  Vicki hadn’t finished. ‘I’m sorry. I am not ready to return to being a couple. I don’t believe we’ve really been one in the way I thought. So I guess I am saying we’re still separating.’ Then she turned and left him.

  Cole watched her go, heading to her bedroom where they’d made love a short time ago. He could still feel her breasts against his chest, her moist warmth as he’d entered her. Would they ever do that again? Would she give him another chance? Pain lanced him into shreds. Vicki was his woman, the love of his life. It was impossible to accept she believed they were over.

  He wasn’t going to. Taking a step in her direction, he faltered. He’d said all he could. There was nothing more to add. Vicki had to believe him when he’d said he was always going to be here for her.

  But she didn’t.

  Should he go and grovel? Beg for another chance? Or give her space and time to take in everything he’d told her? If he did that would she ever let him see her again? Ever talk to him again? Fear chilled him, lifted bumps on his skin, closed down the warmth of their lovemaking. They were so close, so far. This could not be happening. But it was.

  Vicki believed he was wrong to make decisions without involving her. Maybe she was right, and he should’ve broached the subject of him applying for a position in Sydney. But he’d wholeheartedly believed he was doing the right thing by her, and himself. After all, she’d been making plans for her agency without telling him, and that had been going on longer than his application for the Rose Bay GP’s job.

  Staring through to the lounge, his gaze alighted on Anna’s painting. It was superb. Filled with passion. As though by finally following her dreams, her heart had spilled out on canvas for everyone to share. A heart that was devoted to Marty and their children—as well as herself.

  That’s what Vicki had intimated she wanted. To follow her dreams with him at her side. He hadn’t disagreed. Neither had he said let’s find the right place for the agency and he’d find a job wherever that was, because he was excited about his own possibilities in Rose Bay. It could be perfect for them both.

  So could moving to Cairns.

  The lights flickered. Stayed on.

  He’d head home in the morning and give her some space so that hopefully everything would calm down and then they could talk again. They had to. It couldn’t end like this.

  CHAPTER TEN

  HAD SHE REALLY said that? Vicki lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, ignoring the tears filling her eyes. It had sounded selfish even to her, but if she wasn’t going to look out for herself, then who was?

  Cole.

  The pain in his eyes, tensing his body as he’d listened to her, had whacked back at her. She’d caused that. Hurt them both. There was so much he’d not told her until now. Yes, he would look out for her if she asked. He might even have heard how she felt over his choices. But apparently he’d found his
dream job and she doubted she could ask him not to take it. That would be like Cole asking her to give up the idea of her agency.

  She could run it from Rose Bay. From anywhere really. Was she being too harsh? Expecting everything to go her way from now on? But that wasn’t what she was doing. She just wanted to have the life that suited both of them, where they could be happy again and she could stop worrying about being left on her own during the times she really needed support. She wanted to follow her dreams, and Cole’s. It could be done. If he was open to her ideas. He had sounded okay with the agency. Had he thought how it might impact on him, especially if they had a family?

  The light flickered.

  Vicki held her breath.

  The flickering stopped, the light remained on.

  She breathed.

  They’d been lucky so far with the power still being on in Palm Beach. Damon had phoned earlier to warn her there were outages in other areas and it could happen here. Now that the rain was easing, perhaps there’d be no more.

  Flicker.

  Tempting fate, that was. Again she held her breath, again released it.

  She was still in full, golden light.

  Then she wasn’t. Darkness filled the house abruptly. Black. Dense. Frightening. Sitting up, she waited for some natural light to filter through the windows so she could discern furniture shapes and the doorway.

  ‘Vicki, you all right?’ Cole called along the hall. Then he was in the doorway, his shape darker against the low glow from a torch he held.

  ‘Sort of.’

  ‘I’ve turned the barbecue on to cook the remainder of the steak. Want to join me?’ He was keeping himself in check, speaking as he would to anyone, not with the verve and love he usually had for her.

  She could do the same, friendly but careful. ‘I’ll make a salad or butter some bread.’ Standing up, she slipped her feet into the turquoise sandals by the bed. She wasn’t going around in the dark with bare feet. Next she tugged a lightweight jersey over her head.

  In the kitchen, Cole started quickly emptying the fridge of everything they might need for dinner so that they wouldn’t open it again and lose what cold air was inside.

  Vicki tried not to get more uptight. The power could be off for many hours with the electricity supplier already busy with other outages, and she going to have to get through the night without relying too much on Cole. That wouldn’t be fair after what she’d said. Placing her torch on the bench, she reached for a lantern and struck a match to light it. After setting it on the table, she lit the second one. ‘These’ll make me feel cosier.’

  ‘The rain’s definitely lightened a lot. We might see the end of this by the morning.’ Cole carried the oil and steak out to the deck.

  Vicki followed him, and looked out over the yard. She shivered. ‘Mum and Dad are lucky. The lawn will dry out fast enough, and the house hasn’t been affected.’ Cole would know she was trying to fill the threatening silence. Awkward. ‘I’ll make a salad.’

  Inside, she went about preparing a green salad, taking regular peeks at Cole as he stood by the barbecue, waiting to cook the steak. What was he thinking? He probably wanted to get out of here as soon as possible but she doubted he’d leave while there was no power to light up the place. Despite being cross with her, he wouldn’t do that.

  After shaking dressing over the salad she pushed the bowl to the side. Done. Now to butter some slices of bread. Basic but good food. Her favourite. And Cole’s.

  The silence grew as they ate, and Vicki couldn’t relax. Her skin felt cold, her head pounded. She’d told Cole to go back to Sydney, but here he was, sitting opposite her having a meal. So normal and yet completely abnormal. Should she try to talk some more about his plans for joining the medical centre? But what more could she say without repeating herself?

  ‘Relax, Vicki. I’ll be out of your hair first thing in the morning.’

  Her fingers tightened around her fork. Now that he’d put it into words she wasn’t so sure she wanted him to go. But he had to find out if he’d got the position, and think about what he really wanted before they could talk about them. If they did. ‘Your flight’s in the afternoon, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yes, but I’ll try to change it. If I can’t then I’ll fill in the hours in town.’

  He hated wondering aimlessly around shops, could only stop for a coffee for a short time before he became restless. ‘I’ll drive you in.’

  ‘We’ll see.’

  It wasn’t as though he had a lot of choices. Taxis were most likely thin on the ground with the weather bomb playing havoc with the roads. Refraining from pointing that out, Vicki said instead, ‘I’ll boil some water on the barbecue for tea.’

  ‘Let me do that.’ He was up and finding a pot before she’d moved.

  ‘Fine.’ She’d rinse the plates, and try to find something else to keep her busy. It wouldn’t be the ironing or watching TV. Picking up her phone, she checked for messages. ‘At least we’ve still got phone coverage.’

  ‘What about internet?’

  ‘Not strong, but it’s there.’

  Molly had texted.

  You all right?

  No power but otherwise okay.

  She’d call tomorrow and fill Molly in on the landslide and their role in helping the family.

  What about Cole?

  Molly wasn’t letting her get away with just mentioning the storm. He’s returning to Sydney tomorrow. Which was sad, but necessary if he was to figure how to go forward.

  Tapping another text, she replied to her mother’s query about how the storm had affected Palm Beach.

  Saturated and no power, otherwise unaffected.

  Joe from the medical centre had also sent a message.

  You all right up there?

  Yes. Been busy helping injured people, but we’re fine, thanks.

  Liar, liar. Not telling Joe her position with her husband.

  ‘Gumboot or strawberry tea?’ Cole asked.

  ‘Gumboot, thanks.’ Her gaze wandered to the glass door leading onto the deck, and the red and yellow floral painted gumboots standing just outside, and she smiled. She loved them. They beat the plain old black variety most people wore.

  ‘Here.’ Cole placed her mug on the table and went through the pantry until he found a packet of chocolate biscuits. He joined her and checked his phone. ‘Nathan’s texted.’

  ‘Molly did, too.’

  They were good friends. Nathan had always been, and Molly had fitted in perfectly. She’d turned Nathan’s life around, had given him a second chance at happiness, as he had for her. He’d won her over by showing her not all men were abusive, didn’t use their fists to prove a point. She was very happy for the pair of them. Across the table she saw Cole texting, his finger purposeful on the buttons, his mouth not as tight as it had been earlier. Hard not to lean over and wrap her hand around his. But she mustn’t. He’d take it as an indication she was going to back off fighting for herself.

  ‘Think I’ll turn in. It’s early, but what else is there to do?’

  He paused his messaging and looked up at her, a sharp gleam in his eyes.

  She had to ask that? In the past they’d have gone to bed all right, but there’d have been nothing to do with sleeping going on between the sheets. Hot memories roared into her mind and heat flowed up her cheeks. She spun away. ‘See you in the morning before you go.’

  * * *

  Cole’s heart was heavy as he watched Vicki sidle down the hall, a lantern in one hand, a torch in the other as she glanced left and right.

  Sweetheart, it shouldn’t be like this. We love each other.

  The light on his phone faded, bringing him back to what he’d been doing before his heart had got side-tracked. He finished texting Nathan.

  Internet’s sporadic. Can you look up flights out of here early tomor
row for me?

  He’d head home and drive around the Rose Bay area to get the feel of the place, try to look at it from Vicki’s point of view. If she was determined to set up the agency it could be done from home, but she’d also want to take on some of the temp jobs that came in herself so a lot of travelling around the city would be an issue. Though that would happen wherever they decided to live, and the bay was only a few kilometres from the city centre, which was a plus. They could make this work, he was certain of it, and then they’d get back to normal. Maybe try for a baby again.

  ‘What else is there to do?’

  Her question reverberated in his head. Make love again, slower than before, touch, kiss, explore. Yeah, that one explosive moment had only been the beginning to what usually followed on when they got together after time apart. That and lots of hugs and sleeping spoon style, and waking up at all hours for more kisses and sex.

  Vicki had been thinking of that too. Her face had reddened immediately after she’d asked that question, and then she’d hastily departed for the bedroom. But she’d been too late. He’d recognised her response and known the same himself. Unfortunately, it wasn’t happening. He would not push the barriers. He’d lost too much ground already. For Vicki the marriage seemed over. But not for him.

  Nathan came back with flight details and, given the thumbs up, changed his booking. Sadness enveloped him. He did not want to leave Vicki like this, but she’d made it plain she wanted nothing more to do with him at the moment. It was better to focus on sorting out what he could in Sydney than hanging around, trying to get her to see reason. If he did get the job he could relax, knowing he had work he wanted, and then concentrate on helping Vicki with her plans for the agency and anything else she might want.

  Scrolling through his contacts, he found the number he wanted and sent a brief text. As soon as a reply came back, he pocketed the phone and, armed with a torch, he headed to his bedroom.